I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.
I’m not interested in caring about people.
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.
It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.
It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.
There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food.
Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.
One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.
Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.
Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.
Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm.
I regret nothing. The end.
Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.
Breakfast food can serve many purposes.
Friends: one to three is sufficient.
Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.
Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.
There is only one bad word: taxes.
