Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die. Come watch TV.
Morty
Weddings are basically funerals with cake.
Rick
Morty: I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were!
Rick: I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.
Rick and Morty
Those guys are inside you building a piece of sh*t Ethan!! They’re inside you building a monument to compromise!! f*ck them. f*ck those people. f*ck this whole thing Ethan.
Rick
I’m not looking for judgment, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe?
Rick
Well then get your sh*t together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your sh*t, so it’s together. …and if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere ya know? Take it to the sh*t store and sell it, or put it in a sh*t museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together… Get your sh*t together.
Morty
We’ve got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.
Rick
Morty: You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?
Rick: Yeah, sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad, Morty.
Rick and Morty
Sometimes science is more art than science, Morty. Lot of people don’t get that.
Rick
Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe, because I’m the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
Rick
They’re robots Morty! It’s okay to shoot them! They’re just robots! It’s a figure of speech, Morty! They’re bureaucrats! I don’t respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty! You have no idea what prison is like here!
Rick
What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? Y-you realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
Rick
You’re a monster. You’re like Hitler but even Hitler cared about Germany or something!
Morty
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.
Rick
I turned myself into a pickle. I’m Pickle Riiiiick.
Rick
